Kregg and I always knew we wanted a few kids, God willing. I always have wanted a whole mess of kids, but was just going to see how it went. So Cooper came, then he turned one, and he turned two, then three came. We talked about another and another didn't come, so we waited. Then life kept happening and Satan stole our Joy with some things, so four came and went, then five came. I was really getting discouraged and so was Kregg, but we couldn't quite get on the same page about something.
Adoption.
See that word, although beautiful to many...it could wreck havoc on an discussion in our home in seconds, it did for years actually. You see, my history in Haiti, holding starving babies, playing in orphanages, praying over kids that will never have a mom, always left me feeling led to adopt, and Kregg's history of not the above, left him not feeling the same, at all.
I would bring up the subject as it was laid on my heart, or once every ten times it was laid on my heart. Kregg would get defensive, then I would get defensive and it would end with a terse word or even tears. He knew he wanted to 'have kids of his own' and I just knew I was called to love babies without a mom of their own. I prayed for him to change his mind, and he prayed the same for me, even though we both said we were praying for God to open our hearts to what HE wanted.
So as I mentioned, five came and still no sign of a sibling for Cooper. Now he had been asking for a solid two years for a baby brother or sister to play with, as if that doesn't pull on your heartstrings. I had a few problems and had some things happen toward the end of the year that left me feeling as if maybe I wanted to stop longing to have another baby myself. And then one night in January, a few weeks after Christmas I felt God tell me "talk to him...just do it" and I fought it, because I didn't want to fight about whats supposed to be magical and holy. I finally gave in and said "can we please discuss adoption?" You know what?...there were no frowns from the other side of the bed, no heavy sighs, no eye rolls...he said "sure lets talk"
So that night we talked, we talked about adoption and fears and dreams and race and drugs and all things to consider when considering adopting a child into your home. I told him I was willing to bend on my desire for international or at least consider something besides this, and and he said he was game to move forward to discuss it with this woman I had come into contact with that does private adoptions. He was willing to discuss and to build a portfolio for this woman to have in her office, one that told all about us in 30 pages, as if that is possible. I couldn't believe it, we had literally discussed and fought about this for the entire 7 years we knew each other. Now, mind you ...adoption has never been my "plan b"...I have always wanted to whether I had biological children or not. So I don't want this to seem as if okay we weren't getting pregnant so lets adopt, because its anything but.
So I called this woman who is an advocate for woman that cannot provide a healthy life for their unborn children and she walked me through what to do to get the ball rolling even for a portfolio for private adoption. She said I should include family photos, candid and stills, so that birth mom can tell who we are inside and out. So then we hired a photographer to capture some pictures for our portfolio...remember our family photos this Winter?
And we threw in this one because we had something up our sleeve to announce soon with this talk of adoption portfolio building...
We had plans to meet with this woman the following week to discuss all of our questions and such to make sure we were fully prepared and informed, as much as you can be...In fact, I also had plans to meet with a friend that runs a maternity center who actually had a birth mom due in September that she wanted to discuss with us.
Part 2 coming next....
